There are a couple of points during Sherlock's explanation where John wants to stop him, grab him by the collar, and shake him until he shuts up (not an uncommon desire for him). John wants to shake his head and tell Sherlock how wrong he is about him and exactly the reasons why, but the more he talks, and the longer his words sink in, John begins to realise just how correct he is.
Did he really find his dates boring? Well, for some of them, certainly that was the case. One wanted to spend their time together watching telly, and one even wanted to join a book club. Sure, all of that sounded nice in theory -- Normal, every day things that couples would normally do together, -- but no matter what he thought he desired in a mate, he would just... lose interest. Now was it because they didn't share interests like he thought, or was it just because they were all so painfully dull that he just didn't want to spend time with them anymore?
Yes, being out, being strangled in a dark alley, firing his gun at an escaping murderer, running down London streets, dodging punches, and yes, sometimes even looking ad dull old photographs for loose bits of evidence were what he enjoyed most. His heart thundering in his ears, finding something new, knowing that at any second, his life could change... or even end. It was exciting, and John can't think of any better way to affirm that he is indeed alive.
Except now he's just staring at Sherlock in disbelief that he'd not only say all of this plainly, but in the middle of a restaurant where there are people nearby who can hear them. He shakes his head, shaking off Sherlock's train of thought and refocusing his mindset.
"Look, I know what you're trying to do, but it's not going to work." John's voice is firm, but he's not looking at Sherlock. He needs to be confident in his words, and he can't do that when Sherlock's stare bores into him and tears down his confidence in himself. "This -- This is different. I can't have this be my entire life like you can. There's nothing wrong with having a... normal life outside of your work. For normal people. I need something solid I can turn to when all of this gets out of hand and threatens to drive me insane." And now that he's said the most important parts, he finally looks up at Sherlock. "You know that this work isn't easy for someone like me."
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Did he really find his dates boring? Well, for some of them, certainly that was the case. One wanted to spend their time together watching telly, and one even wanted to join a book club. Sure, all of that sounded nice in theory -- Normal, every day things that couples would normally do together, -- but no matter what he thought he desired in a mate, he would just... lose interest. Now was it because they didn't share interests like he thought, or was it just because they were all so painfully dull that he just didn't want to spend time with them anymore?
Yes, being out, being strangled in a dark alley, firing his gun at an escaping murderer, running down London streets, dodging punches, and yes, sometimes even looking ad dull old photographs for loose bits of evidence were what he enjoyed most. His heart thundering in his ears, finding something new, knowing that at any second, his life could change... or even end. It was exciting, and John can't think of any better way to affirm that he is indeed alive.
Except now he's just staring at Sherlock in disbelief that he'd not only say all of this plainly, but in the middle of a restaurant where there are people nearby who can hear them. He shakes his head, shaking off Sherlock's train of thought and refocusing his mindset.
"Look, I know what you're trying to do, but it's not going to work." John's voice is firm, but he's not looking at Sherlock. He needs to be confident in his words, and he can't do that when Sherlock's stare bores into him and tears down his confidence in himself. "This -- This is different. I can't have this be my entire life like you can. There's nothing wrong with having a... normal life outside of your work. For normal people. I need something solid I can turn to when all of this gets out of hand and threatens to drive me insane." And now that he's said the most important parts, he finally looks up at Sherlock. "You know that this work isn't easy for someone like me."